P90X Week 6

Weight: 142 (at some point I was down to 139, but then I got slack on the diet).

B 39
W 31
H 38
LL 19
RL 19
LB 10
RB 10

P90X - Week Three

These are stats from week three - day 20.

Weight 142
B 39.5
W 31
H 39
RL 20.5
LL 20
RB 11
LB 10.7

P90X - Week Two

B 40
W 32
H 39.5
LL 20
RL 20
LB 10.5
RB 11

What I ate today

Cinnamon Raisin Bagel with cream cheese
1 Cup Coffee
Spinach Salad
Tuna (canned in water)

How I feel:
Shaky. I may not be getting enough calories. Caloric intake is super important when I am working out this much...and nursing. So, I better get with it.

P90X - Week One

I've jumped on the P90X bandwagon. The hubs started doing the program while I was still pregnant and due to Doctor's orders, I "healed" for the first 8 weeks after baby's birth and took it "easy." Well, due to other influences in my life...like my job and an overwhelming addiction to all things fatty and sugarlicious, I haven't really worked out until...NOW! And WOW, it's seriously awesome.

So, I have a bad back. I've had a bad back for a number of years. Fear of re-injuring my back has kept me from running (my drug of choice) and I took up riding my bike. I never really got into that athletically, but it was a good way to burn some calories. Coming off of having my entire body stretched apart by another human being growing inside of me, I decided to forgo pure cardio and get my muscles back together and in fighting form. Enter P90X.

This program is not for the faint of heart and it will kick a hiney. Today was my third day of it. I feel stronger, in control, and ready to get my body back. Woot.

Here's the ugly truth - that is so soon gonna change.

Measurements
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 150 (YUCK)
bust 39.5"
waist 32"
hips 40"
L Leg 20"
R Leg 20"
L Bicep 10.5"
R Bicep 11"

Goal: TO GET SMALLER AND STRONGER. I would not mind a 135 with muscle, but I'm just going for healthy.

Diet of the day:
Bagel w/ cream cheese (it's all uphill from here) and coffee (black)
Spinach salad with broccoli, sunflower seeds, and vinaigrette
Roasted Chicken, broccoli. cauliflower (mashed - SO GOOD!)
1/4 c. trail mix
Very small glass of red wine
A TON of H20

(I'll post pictures when I can show you the AFTER, as well as the BEFORE)

33 weeks, 7 weeks to go

I'm thirty-three weeks pregnant and only seven weeks remain until I am a momma! Pregnancy has been the most freeing experience for me in terms of weight and body image. I feel better in my body than I ever have. Go pregnancy!

I have gained within the recommended guidelines, but as I approach the last few weeks I am sad to say that I don't really want to gain any more. So, I've already started looking up workouts and making plans for getting back into fighting form fairly quickly.

I know that breastfeeding will aid in some weight loss and I really have formed no bad eating habits during pregnancy (except for the occasional Nutella spoon). So, I'm trying to be pretty optimistic about it all.

Hubs and I are looking into the P90X workouts. Any folks out there ever use them?

Still Recovering

It's like being an addict.

It is being an addict, and while alcoholics have outgrown the taboo and become fully integrated into society, we, the recovering eating disordered, will sometimes receive a quiet shun when we openly speak about our rehabilitation. For example, when offered a drink a recovering alcoholic can politely say, "No thanks. I've been sober now for 2 months" with no fear of public humiliation. However, a person such as myself when offered a cupcake can't easily reply, "No thanks. I mean, really if I eat that I'm going to be overwrought with guilt and the desire to purge." It brings on some stares, people - I'm not gonna lie.

All this said, I haven't leaped from the wagon. I have had moments where the desire to purge has peeked into sight, but they have been few and easily squashed. I'm afraid, that I have now entered another extreme - the absolute absence of guilt where food is concerned. Most would say that this is a sign of recovery; surely it is for a season, however, health is health and balance is key. Guilt certainly should not play a role, but being conscientious will never go ill-rewarded when it is paired with a healthful mindset.

When is it okay for a recovering bulimic to watch what she eats or change her eating habits? Any mention of this is always met with knowing glares and panic from those who know us. When can I just be normal? Perhaps never, but I'm not going to give up.

In the interest of full disclosure, I am going to start a more healthy lifestyle...and yes, this healthy lifestyle might result in some weight loss - I'm not looking for weight loss, I'm looking for toning and building muscle. A back injury a few months ago brought my complete lack of fitness to my attention; and while the back injury is on the mend, I'm still hopelessly out of shape. Excuses immediately jump to my defense: I can't run anymore, I'm not a member of the gym, there's no time, etc. All these hold no water at all and just convince me of the hard and cold fact that I have never been more "disciplined" in my life than when I was bulimic. True discipline, of course, did not exist - oh, but the illusion of it was great.

Okay, enough waxing of the obvious. Here are my stats, my goal, and my plan. Comments, encouragement, and accountability are always welcome.

Current:
Height: 5'7.5" | Weight: 148 | BMI: 22.8 | Body Fat %: 25.2 | B/W/H: 39/30.5/40 |

Goal:
Weight 135| Body Fat %: 20-22 | B/W/H: 38/26/38

What I ate today:
Breakfast: 2 Doughnuts (This is why I need help, people!)
Lunch:
Dinner:

What I did today to burn off the above:
Nothing yet